"30. Those who complain of the Christian era really wish to wallow in shameful self-indulgence

Okay, so here are the rest of the loops for this compilation. I found out what all the extra hissing ones in the recordings and redid a couple of them. Anyway, here you guy, hope you enjoy :)

I falter, I repent, I falter, I repent, I falter, I get discouraged, I wait, I repent, I falter, I feel guiltier yet, I get depressed, I set it aside, I wait, I wait, I repent, I get a new revelation...I falter, I repent, I falter, I repent, I falter -- and the cycle continues over and over again without victory.

 Our sanctification is walked out, or salvation is walked out, we crucify ourselves daily, we put our desires to death. We have to do this because as long as our earthly, physical, body exists in this broken and man-created separation, we still have the desires of the flesh and we are still tempted by ourselves the world, and the enemy.

So, our faltering, though not desired, is expected, and for which there is grace, because You are a gracious god, and You want us to succeed in overcoming ourselves to attain You. So what is the breakdown, the error, that arrives in the aforementioned cycle? We falter, we repent, we falter, we repent, we falter...we repent! This is how the progression should take place, should it take place at all (for the 'cycle' should be "We obey! We obey! We obey!")

The issue comes in slowing or withholding our repentance. Why would we do this? Because, perhaps, we hold in our hearts and unbelief in the power of Christ's sacrifice and resurrection: "Was it really for me? Was it really for this? Can I really still rely on it despite my actions?" We hold our hearts in unbelief to God's love: "I've messed it up now. He surely is disappointed and angry with me. There is no way He will listen to my repentance, now."

How untrue! God cannot lie, and He said He loves us. God is faithful where we are not, where we would give up. God cannot bear the cries, the suffering, of His people. He runs to them in their despair...that is, if only they would turn to Him and Him alone. Even in Israel's depravity, her worship of foreign and detestable gods, her pervesion and wickedness, God attended her cries of repentance, her supplication, her acknowledgment of wrongdoing as she faced destruction at the hands of her enemies. God could not bear her lament,  He honored her repentance and He rescued her from certain death and He was her God.

We are the new Israel, we are the ones "born in Zion," born again in Christ, all our fountains are found in Him. So, certainly our unchanging and merciful God, God of Adam, of Noah, of Abraham, of Jacob, of Moses, of David, of Christ, and by Christ, of us, will attend our cries as well, will hear our repentance and will rejoice in it.

So let us withhold ourselves no longer: We Repent, We Repent, We Repent! In our weakness, we ask for strength. In our confusion, we ask for clarity. In our unbelief, we ask for faith. In the hearing of lies, we ask for the hearing of truth. In our depression, we ask for joy. In our wandering, we ask for purpose. In our brokenness, we ask for healing. In our weariness, we ask for rest. In our struggles, we ask for peace. In our battles against the flesh, we ask for victory. In our hatred, we ask for love. In our separation, we ask for unity. We ask these things because You said You would pour them out on us if we would but ask. In this You are glorified; let your glorification be complete!

Wash us clean again and set us back in place. We come before the throne again and we humble ourselves: Heirs by Your Blood, Sons by Your Love, Princes by Your Word, Alive by Your Sacrifice!

All glory to God, all authority to Christ, all power to the Spirit! Amen!

THIS FIRST: If you are musician in the Starkville area who wants to lift up the Lord in Spirit-anointed worship OR if you feel God is calling you to be an intercessor for the campus/area or into a ministry of prayer, please get in touch!

On Repentance and Death to Self:

1. God loves you so hard it kills you.

2. Having God and the Spirit in your life is like being literally on fire. It doesn't stop until you are dead, or you put it out (turn away).

3. The bitter in the honey. The prophets saw the truth that in the sweetness of God's love is the bitterness in that we are not in our perfection and we must continue to set aside our fallen wills. Christ calls us to crucify ourselves daily and take up the Cross.

On Sin:

1. For some, Double Bubble is a secret sin. Sin is whatever prevents you from obedience to God.

2. With great freedom comes great responsibility. There are five rules: Don't drink blood, Don't eat strangled meat (blood/life belongs to God), Don't commit sexual immorality (because God is a lover of covenant), Love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength (pursue relationship), and love your neighbor as yourself (bless others as you have been blessed, make disciples). Other than that, all things are permissible, but not all things are profitable. But you ARE held accountable for ANYTHING that you place as an idol in your life: anything you turn to instead of Christ, anything you look to with desire greater than your desire for Christ. The Spirit will convict you in all things and lead you into all truth, rely on the Holy Counselor.

On Missions:

1. Lying down in front of a bus doesn't make you a martyr, it makes you stupid. Christ sent the twelve out in pairs, don't go alone in ministry or missions.

On  Life:

1. God could care less about us being a "GOOD PERSON." God wants disciples of His son Christ, who are dead to themselves and seek obedience in humility. For the most part, walking in affectionate obedience leads you to act in a way seeming of "goodness" by the world's standards.

2. God is no respecter of persons, position, theology, society, or vain religion.

3. The more you seek after Christ, the more you look like Him. This also has the effect of making you fit less and less into the societies/norms of this world, because He and us in Him are not of it.

So, today I went to the Career Fair here at MSU. The Career Fair is an event where a bunch of employers come and set up booths around the Hump. The Career Fair advertises itself as an opportunity for students to meet potential employers and companies to find potential employees. In actuality, the Career Fair is a trap to catch unwitting Computer Engineers and put them in IT jobs.

On the whole, I am not too terribly enthusiastic about my career options at the moment. Who knows if I'll even end up doing anything with my degrees :X I found out today that being a Master's student doesn't even seem to be working for me, since a lot of companies simply want to hire fresh Bachelors. I'm starting to think that it might have been advantageous to just have gotten a job after I finished last year!

On the plus side, this was an impetus to rewrite my resume, and its looking pretty good at the moment! Some to-do's for the future: Take the FE, Take the GRE, finish my Masters. After that, I should be in pretty good shape as far as hiring goes.

Wow, I complain a whole lot, don't I? It seems pretty silly. I feel as though I can only see what little has been revealed ahead of me, if that at all, and I really have no idea what life is going to look like past next week. The World has about a million complications for you to get caught up in, and at the moment I just don't really feel like dealing with any of them...as if I have a choice! I get myself mired in this stuff everyday and I walk around dirty and act and talk as if I'm pious out of my own doing.

I am nothing but His work, I accomplish nothing but by His Grace, I have no identity except what He has given me (Co-heir, Partner, Bride, Prince, Priest,  Disciple). And yet, knowing I am nothing, and in myself have nothing to offer, I still feel as though I have to strive and attain perfection of myself before I can approach anything that He has already called me to. What a lie!

The only thing I have to offer is Love for Him, I only have Love because it has been given to me by the Father. So, the only thing I can do, the only possible way I can position myself, is to be a Mirror, a Reflection of His Holiness. I mean, think about it, a mirror (a good one at least), doesn't hold onto some photons and say "Well, I think these are mine, I worked so hard for them, I think I'll hold onto them." A mirror reflects back exactly what its been given. Fully Receive, Fully Give. A mirror doesn't have any dark spots on it where it holds onto what its been given. A mirror doesn't generate any portion of Light on its own, it doesn't emit any Light other than what its been given.

I suppose a mirror has to be at the right angle, too. A mirror serves no purpose as a mirror if you have it around the wrong way! So, too, God calls us to turn to Him, so that we can be useful to Him, so that he can pour His Love into us, and thus we reflect back that same great Love, back to Him and wherever He wills us to (the World).